Opinion

In defense of liars

By Mickey Z.
Online Journal Contributing Writer

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October 17, 2005—Before you pull out your handy stone tablet and haughtily declare, "Thou shalt not bear false witness," consider the promises (sic) you heard during the last election.

"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly." —Donald Rumsfeld

Or how about undercover cops? Their entire career is contingent upon bearing false witness. Actors, fiction writers, filmmakers, lawyers, and poker players can certainly speak volumes about the virtues of deception. What about sports? What is "fake left and go right" if not a premeditated fabrication?

"They used to say, 'If we find a good black player, we'll sign him.' They was lying." —Cool Papa Bell, Negro Leagues legend

And then there's the night your mother-in-law asked you to critique her experimental poetry in front of a room full of people. Could you really justify honesty as the best policy at that instant?

"You don't tell deliberate lies, but sometimes you have to be evasive." —Margaret Thatcher

Of course, as Nakana Ide, co-author of "The Art of Lying," puts it, there's always the enticing reality that "people who can tell lies well often have deeper and more interesting lives."

"Lying is like alcoholism. You are always recovering." —Steven Soderbergh

For those still unconvinced, I suggest you hark back to that time you were acting up at the supermarket at, say, age six or so . . . and your mother sternly warned, "If you don't quiet down, the policeman outside is going to arrest you!"

"That's not a lie; it's a terminological inexactitude. Also, a tactical misrepresentation." —General Alexander Haig

If you had somehow summoned the courage to peek out into the parking lot, you would have quickly learned that not only was there no policeman in sight, but that dear old Mom was a friggin' liar.

"It's not a matter of what is true that counts but a matter of what is perceived to be true." —Henry Kissinger

So, start fabricating, folks . . . everybody's doing it.

Mickey Z. is telling the truth when he says he's the author of five books, most recently, "50 American Revolutions You're Not Supposed to Know: Reclaiming American Patriotism" (Disinformation Books). It's no lie that he can be found on the Web at: http://www.mickeyz.net.